To state that I am busy as a full-time working mother seems like an understatement at times. When I went back to work full-time my daughter was only five months. She was no longer colic, but was still waking multiple times a night, I was still breastfeeding, and even though I returned to work to retain a semblance of my identity, my role at work had completely changed.  In the beginning, I felt like I was being pulled in a million different directions and failing miserably in every area, which filled me with anger, frustration, and sadness.

According to a national survey conducted by the Ministry of Health, Labor, and Welfare, 70.8% of Japanese mothers are working while raising a child under the age of 18. This is the first time that the percentage has exceeded 70%, and it is predicted to continue to rise. 

I loved my family, and also loved contributing to society through my work, but it was honestly too much at first. I fell into the horrible, what the Japanese call, "Mommy Track", where I was desperate to show my worth at the company despite having a child, and to be honest, I didn't put up healthy boundaries.  My husband, fortunately, was very understanding and tried to be supportive, but also he noticed that what I was doing was not sustainable, and over time, I became burnt out, resentful, a
nd impatient, which I noticed was taking a toll on me at home. 

After about three months, I realized something had to change and that it was essential that I learn how to prioritize, organize, and save time and energy as much as possible. Spending low-stress quality time with myself, my daughter, my husband, and even colleagues became my top priority! 

Here are some time-saving tips for all you full-time working mothers out there!

Set Boundaries

This is the most important and fundamental thing to do as a full-time working mother, but I know it's probably the hardest part! I am not one to say you can't do it all, but you shouldn't! You need to set boundaries with not only your job, friends, family, but also yourself. You heard me correctly, it's time to get disciplined with yourself. You have to be extremely clear on your goals, your limits, and your wants. I actually had to attend counseling to learn how to start setting boundaries. At first, it was extremely difficult, especially as someone who loves to help and create a harmonious environment, but it was becoming toxic. So, one of my basic boundaries is no overtime at work, very little commiserating with colleagues, not involving myself too much in other people's issues, limiting my time on social medial, and I even had to set a boundary with my daughter, which is that she must follow a schedule. That part is a bit hard because infant and toddler life is unpredictable, but they thrive on structure and actually do a lot better with limitations. Finally, my last boundary is that I will always strive to improve my situation instead of feeling stuck or helpless. These boundaries help me protect my energy, focus on what is important, and also teach people and yourself how to respect your time.

Upgrade those Appliances and don't feel guilty.

If you're like me, you've toyed with the idea of hiring help, but have never went through with it because of pride. Throw that pride right out the window! Before my daughter, I could spend four plus hours cleaning because I love it and I like being detailed, but that's just not feasible now. Even though I still haven't bit the bullet to hire help, I have invested in a few time-saving appliances to help me save time cleaning. 

• Roomba - The roomba allows me to do two things at once, which is a super life saver! I can even have it run while I am at work or out of the house.
• Steam mop - I love my steam mop! It cuts through dirt so effectively and also makes the floor super shiny!
• Drill with cleaning attachments - this is great because it lessens the labor of scrubbing
• Dryer - While I love the smell of air dried clothes, you can't beat the dryer at times. The dryer allows me to wash clothes at night, rainy days, and do clothes more frequently. After having a baby, we do laundry at least 4 times a week, so being able to finish the chore in under two hours is great!

Another time-saving appliance are dish-washers, but no comment about that. Other ways to save time is to buy time-saving cooking appliances, such as air fryer, pressure cookers, and meal prep on the weekend. if you're really strapped for time, you can use a food delivery service, such as Gourmand and Bio Marche, or a meal kit service, such as Tasty Table or Oisix! You could also do what we did and move right across the street from the grocery store, but maybe that's a bit too extreme.

You can even save time with beauty by using 2-1 cleansers, learning how to do your own nails, and using face masks while listening to audio books or news. If you don't have a car, get a bike so that you can quickly run errands.

One technique that has really helped me is to clean a little everyday. I clean the toilet once I finish with it, and also clean the tub when I get out. Don't let it pile up and then you'll only use 5-10 minutes a day, instead 2-3 hours on your off day!

Team Work

Before my child, I learned to only rely on myself, but after having her, I realized I needed to surround myself with a team of supportive people. My first pick, of course, was my husband, and so we talked and discussed a lot on how we can both contribute to the household and play on each other's strengths. Of course, we both help out equally, but he is basically in charge of what he is good at, which is running errands, cooking, and keeping our finances in check, and I'm better at cleaning, childcare, and planning. Having my husband involved has lessened my stress by half. Also, he gets more and more confident each day and more likely to volunteer more. We are team, and there are no slackers allowed! This is important. Get the people surrounding you involved. Rely on your  in laws, parents, siblings, etc. Whoever is willing to genuinely help and is a good influence on your family. Also, find people who are in YOUR corner, whether that's a friend, a counselor, a doctor. Find someone who can also cheer for you and help you become the low stress, healthy version of yourself! 

I have also been making it a point to become more involved in the community and use community resources which has been so helpful and has lessened my stress a saved time a ton!

Declutter

As you know, Japan is tight on space and even "spacious" homes are quite tiny compared to American standards, so when we had my daughter, suddenly my whole house became cluttered! I'm also kind of sentimental, so I don't like to throw away cute things that once touched me easily. But, after a year of losing things, feeling like I'm shuffling around junk, I started decluttering with a capital D. And I feel amazing! An easy way to declutter is to use sodai gomi, which allows you to throw away oversized items. But if you'd rather give your items a second home, you can take them to a second hand shop, such as Book Off, or sell them on  apps like Mercari or Karrot like we've done!

When the house is organized, you can find things easier and complete tasks faster! Also, the space becomes much safer for a rambunctious, curious one year old, and so I don't have to waste time chasing her around and redirecting her. 

Do Not Do List

Mom's usually have a running list in their head that is invisible to everyone else, and that also leads to stress on the body and mind. Its okay to say, "I am not doing this today.". Actually, it feels good and motivates me to do other things. There's a lot of invisible stress and pressure put on mothers, so it's very important to be kind and forgiving to yourself. Don't waste your day scrolling through the never ending to-do list in your head! You're wasting your mental and physical energy.  Thinsgs will get done, but one step and one day at a time.

The Past is the Past

As foreigners in Japan, we sometimes get stuck reminiscing about the past too much and constantly comparing back home to Japan, and on top of that, some mother's get stuck reminiscing about their pre-mom life, and unfortunately, none of that is helpful to making the present more bearable! I, myself, got stuck in the reminiscing loop, which then turned into complaining, and that then turned into comparing, which then turned into resentment. Don't do it. You are here, in Japan, with a baby, and maybe it's hard and not what you imagined, but the power to change the moment lies in the here and now and what you can do this very moment. So, I try to limit the, "In America...", or "Before my daughter..." rants. That helps me save time and come up with a solution that works now, here in Japan. 

You Can Change the Future

As your child gets older, and you get more used to your new reality, things get easier and easier. But, if the moment is completely unbearable, change it. Don't waste time by sulking, complaining, and turning yourself into a victim. If work is too much, find a way to lessen the load or quit altogether if you have the option. Finding your bad habits will also help you find where the time slips are. Scrolling through social media for a half hour before bed, staring off into space on the train, complaining on the phone for an hour to your mom? These tiny time slips can add up, and could be used more productively. My time-wasting bad habits are social media before bed, mindless scrolling on the commute in the morning, commiserating with colleagues, and unloading/venting to my husband after work. None of these contribute productively to my goals or where I want to be in life, so now is the time to find the things that can replace these bad habits! 

Where there is a will, there is a way. Make your time important to you, so you can start eliminating the things that are working against it and making you busy, burnt-out, and tired! 

If you have any more tips, please share them in the comments below!