One of the hardest things after having a baby was splitting the childcare and housework. My husband and I had two vastly different schedules, and when you throw in post-partum hormones and having no support outside of yourselves, we burnt ourselves out pretty quickly.

Fortunately, my husband was extremely self sufficient even before we met, and has always been the more organized and neat out of the two of us, which really helped a lot. I am a planner, and always strive for order, so that also contributed to our success of maintaining a clean, well organized home. Unfortunately, the Japanese style and American style of teamwork is vastly different, so while both of us were working really hard, we were often stepping on each others toes, redoing or going over each others work, or just not being as efficient as possible.

For example, I wanted to wash the dishes, and my husband wanted to organize the month's finances. That's great, but then there was no one to watch the baby and we both ended up frustrated because we had to keep stopping what we were doing and redirecting her. Over time, we had to figure out that we couldn't do certain things at the same time, etc.

Also, my husband was used to things being cleaned up or put away immediately after use. That was kind of unrealistic with a baby who has a schedule. I am not going to miss or push her nap time just to wash the dishes. They can wait an hour or two. 

I, on the other hand, was used living in a house,  organizing my schedule the way that best suited me, and as an American, having a lot of freedom and private time in general. But, with a husband who is always at home, living in an apartment (can't do laundry or vacuum after 8pm) and a baby that gets into everything. It's not feasible to do certain chores at certain times, and I also had to learn how to cook and clean in a crowded area or with a baby on my back.

So, in the end, we had to do a lot of compromising. There was a ton of miscommunications, arguments, and discussions about the best approach, or how the Japanese do it, or what we do in America, etc. Finally, we seem to be in the same chapter. We haven't yet reached the same page or line on some things, but it is a work in process, and nowadays we don't feel burnt out, and we help each other out without doing each other's jobs or stepping on each other's toes.

So, without further ramble, here is how we split our chores!

HIS

• Night time wake-ups
• Cooking and prep daughter's meals
• Gets her ready for daycare
• Drop-off/Pick-up from daycare
• writes in the daycare communication book
• handles appointments (scheduling and taking her)
• bath time
• Daughters dinner time
• Cooks dinner
• Laundry
• buying diapers, wipes
• Grocery shopping and household shopping
• puts away dishes

• Prolonged night time wake-ups
• Cooks breakfast for myself and my husband
• garbage
• household scheduling 
• Daughter's hair
• Daughter's clothing and toiletry shopping
• pack and prepare daycare bag
• Night time routine (brush teeth, storytime, and put to bed)
• Outing and event planner
• responsible for cleaning the whole house
• doing all the dishes

Although I have less responsibility, in some aspects, my responsibilities are much heavier, such as cleaning the whole house, which can take days, or dealing with prolong night wakes, which usually means co-sleeping with my daughter all night. Also, my husband has more flexibility, as he doesn't work outside of the home and can catch up on sleep with a nap, or rearrange his schedule as he sees fit. I, on the hand, must compress all of my chores into before or after work, or on the weekends. Plus, no extra nap or random day off to make up sleep.

Weekends

Weekends work a bit differently, as I do the majority of the childcare, giving him time to catch up on work if he missed it during the week, and we just pitch in where we need it. Sometimes I'll do the laundry and he'll wash the dishes. I usually do bath time on the weekends, and he'll take care of the trash.

It's taken nearly a year to narrow down what we need to do and who does it the best, but I am happy with the results for now! Things change day by day as our daughter grows, and our lives change, but this is our day-to day! What does yours look like? Any tips on how to manage a household where two people have very strong work-ethic and are extremely hands on? I'd love some tips!